Prince Harry Reveals How a Photo of Diana Helps Him Navigate Life’s Hardest Moments
Losing his mother broke something inside Prince Harry, and now the Duke has opened a deeply personal chapter.
Losing his mother broke something inside Prince Harry, and now the Duke has opened a deeply personal chapter, giving everyone a glimpse of his inner turmoil. While he has spoken of his mother on multiple occasions, this time the Prince revealed the battles he fought alone after unexpectedly losing his mother, Princess Diana, at the mere age of 12. In a new MasterClass titled Redefining Grief: Building Resilience Through Loss, Harry shared how the Princess's death affected him and how he has learned to live with his grief with neuroscientist Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor.
During the conversation, Harry revealed that he often looks at a particular photograph of Diana, taken by French photographer Patrick Demarchelier, and wonders what his mother would think of his life today. “I can actually get eye contact from her, and there’s a cheekiness in her smile... I just feel very connected to her,” Harry said. The Duke continued, “I find myself looking at her and wondering, what is she thinking about what I am doing right now?”
Harry also admitted that he sometimes looks at the portrait to see if her expression has changed. Though decades have passed since Diana's passing, Harry revealed that it took him years to process his grief. “I didn’t cry when I was told my mum died, only at her burial, and then not again for nearly two decades. It felt very, very strange for the hundreds of hands that we shook to be soaking wet with tears that they wiped away from their own faces.”
He continued, “I almost felt guilty that I was unable to show the same emotion as these people who were crying for someone they’d never even met.” Detailing his struggle, he elaborated, “I was convinced that was strength, but it wasn’t. It was a 12-year-old boy with no permission to fall apart and no roadmap for how to heal.” Harry added that sometimes he even felt guilty for feeling happy after losing Diana, as back then he associated it directly with the measure of how much he missed her.
“I’d spent so long emotionally numb, to a large extent, because I felt disloyal and guilty for the possibility of being happy and joyful without her,” he shared. Sharing his experience with panic attacks during his struggle, he added, “The tightening of the collar literally felt like I was suffocating, and I would be experiencing panic attacks just in the car on the way to work. And that’s when I realized, OK, there’s something bigger. There’s something else that you need to look into here.”
He added that eventually he realized that things needed to get better. “The reality is, what I discovered was actually that she just wanted me to be happy. And that was a huge mental shift for me. It freed me, and it gave me a whole different outlook on life.” While he has actively tried his best to deal with his emotions even today, Harry continues to seek a connection with his mother during difficult moments. “I do find when the times are tough, I’m like, ‘Hi, I need some help here. Guide me in the right way,’” he said.
